Jim’s Immediate Advice
Cruise Less - Flirt More
Moving from cruising to flirting for many gay men, will be a challenge. Cruising is so embedded in the culture of gay life that the very idea of questioning its value will raise some hackles. I assure you. I am not proposing to kill off cruising as much as to provide an alternative: flirting. Cruising is giving off “I’m ready to fuck” vibrations. Flirting has a little more nuance to it. It is relaxing, casual, and, most of all, charming way of getting a guy’s attention without going all the way. It’s about giving off “I’m ready for romance” vibrations.
No sex for the first three dates? No way!
The first key to be being a successful gay dater is: no sex for the first three dates. Cry.Scream. Curse me. But you’ll see it works. Wanting sex is as natural as wanting to eat, but intimacy cannot be rushed. It takes time to know someone, Too much fast food can be harmful to the body, and too much fast sex can be an impediment to intimacy.
Romance is fantasy, isn’t it?
No! Romance is about discovering different ways of expressing, giving, and receiving love. It is a glimpse into the divine. Romance means being present to each other without self-consciousness. Romance will soften the most hardened of hearts. It is two adults being “divine” with each other in human form.
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The Top 10 Myths of Dating
Myth # 1 All the Good Guys Are Taken
Myth # 2 Dating Is Easy
Myth # 3 Men Will Flock to Me for Dates
Myth # 4 Everyone in a Relationship is Happy
Myth # 5 You have to Look Like Brad Pitt to Get a Date
Myth # 6 Older/Younger Relationships Don’t Work
Myth # 7 I Can’t Deal with Rejection
Myth # 8 Internet Matchmaking Services Don’t Work
Myth # 9 Dating Is Not Fun
Myth #10 Successful People Have an Easier Time Dating
Dating & Relationship Tips
What You Need Versus What You Want in a Boyfriend
Icebreakers For First Dates
Expanding Your Social Network
Great Places to Meet Guys
Online Profile Tips
Discussing HIV and Negotiating Safer Sex
Recommended Dating and Relationship movies