Dating and Relationship Tip: What You Need Versus What You Want in a Boyfriend Why does it seem so many gay singles have no idea what they’re looking for, as they bounce from one fantasy of a lover to another? Knowing what we want in a relationship and which of our needs must be met by it is an important development for any dating man. Without this knowledge, we are doomed to date men who will only cause us pain and grief. I meet all sorts of men who—whether twenty-six, thirty-four, or forty-five –simply don’t know what they really want in a guy. A want is a strong desire; a need is a physiological or psychological requirement for our well-being. My thesis is that if you give gay men an opportunity to explore all of their wants, they can then winnow them down to basic needs or “requirements.” You can do the Wants vs. Needs exercise in Boyfriend 101- a Gay Guy’s Guide to Dating, Romance, and Finding True Love.

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